Saturday, August 29, 2009

I've never been better being this bad

Bruised all over my wings
I cant even move
About to break
About to yell
About to give up

I look back
There's just your shadow
That picture
The sound of your steps

I try to stand up
But i fall again
Still i stay there
I wait
I look away

I close my eyes
I turn my wishes to yell
Into wishes of singing
The most beautiful song ever

And suddenly i notice
Im not on the floor anymore
Im not broken
Even if it looks like
Even if you dont care
I shine brighter than ever

I've never been better being this bad
Feels right to fall
Even if you dont have someone to caught you
Even if it hurts

Even if it hurts
I never gave up
Even if my wings arent completly well again
I am already ready to fly
Even if i could have make it better
I dont regret anything

That picture is still there
There's also only the remember of your shadow
But my world inst going to break down
I'll keep waiting
I'll keep dreaming

You did enough
But i'll do more
Nothing will ever defeat my hope
My streght.
To reach where i want
To shine.


Monday, August 17, 2009

En silencio

A veces parece como si todo fuera de papel
Un espejismo con el que pretendo enganarme a mi misma
Algunas de esas veces me gustaria ser quien creo la ilusion
o mejor dicho quien oculto la cruda verdad
Para que no duela tanto
Para que no se vea tan tragico
Para que las personas no tengan de que hablar
O para torturarme un poco mas

Otras de esas veces quiero que sea de verdad
Todo depende de como este el clima.
No puedo tapar el sol con un dedo
y es por eso que a veces me quema tanto
Que el llanto es incontenible
Y no queda de otra que huir a buscar una sombra
El problema es que a veces me pierdo en ellas
Me pierdo buscando una salida

Oscuridad, luz, realidad o apariencia
Ya ni se que cosa es mejor
Solo quiero un minuto de silencio
Para gritarlo todo
Salir corriendo
Y volver en pedazos
Recogerlos y volverlos a ensamblar
A ver si encajan mejor que la vez anterior
A ver si les encuentro un espacio en donde encajen

A veces es solo como si uno estuviera solo
A pesar de estar rodeado de gente
A veces esto duele
A veces eso quiero
A veces lo detesto
A veces es lo que necesito
Un minuto de silencio
Para gritarlo todo, para que me escuches, para que me entiendas.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The fight

It's a big fight. In wich sometimes i feel like i'm loosing and sometimes it's just like if i rule the world. There is no world to name it, it a mix of fear anxiety and desesperation. Feels as if you arent going to be able to take it, to survive. It hits you, tries to murder you and it beggings with your smile then your faith and finally your heart. It doesnt even gives you a break when inffects you completly, you only have to shake it off when its just attacking, its the only chance you've got to dont be defeated. It's so incredibly tormented. Its a pain nobody deserves to ever experiment, even if its the worst person of the world.

But there's always a good side, isnt it? Even if it seems to dont be a bright side here, there is. And it is that every single minute that nightmare makes you suffer, makes you realize how much happiness means, how great, awesome and wonderful it is. When it ends it may ends with me in some cases, but in others it makes me wake up, realise all i could do if i just decide to and enjoy a lot of what i've got and i didnt realised i had. Feel the sunlight on my face, feel the brezze running through my skin little amazing things that happen being given no importance, but that give us the feeling of being alive.

I dont regret of anything. I dont complain of snow, rain or thunders. Those make me feel alive too and if we see right through them we may see some beauty in them. They make me feel vulnerable, uninvencible, human. I would love to go back in time, but i would live my life just the way i did, the only change would be that i would enjoy twice every single minute. The minutes of pain, laugh,happyness, randomess or whatever. It's all just ... a fight of feelings, where the one who wins is who doesnt give up and enjoys to learn of loosing, falling and scratching as much as of winning and achieving. May sound crazy but who says crazy is a mean way to describe something

... haha.


"The only thing worst than not knowing is you thinking that I don't know"