Friday, July 24, 2009

I wanna live a life from a new perspective

Maybe something already used and seen.
But in some other ways different. In some other different way.
Dont know why.
Dont know how.
Just sometimes dont know.
Then i dont know if im right.
Maybe thats my punishment.
Or not.
I just take the images and leave the thinking.
Somewhere else.
Just take the words and discard the logic of them.
Thoughts in my mind.
Mind in the clouds.
Clouds in my soul.
Doesnt matter
I just wanna do it my way.
Get my own things.
That arent literally things.
I know i might never win.
But i dont really care about that.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


This is one of those times in my life when I kinda get what all this is about. It's not about reaching some place is about enjoying all the way down there. I always tend to label everything and now i understand we arent suppouse to do that. We dont really need to put a name to things or think of a definition to everything. I found out how lucky i am to be where i am for 243295829 time in my life but now it was different, i actually got to feel AWESOMELY lucky like i never did before it was a different feeling, a feeling i dont need to label, a feeling its just that, an awesome feeling. I guess when you get close to the end of something even when that end doesnt belong to you it really touches you and well, after all when it ends its gonna end the lace you had with her, when it ends, it gonna leave an empty space you never saw before, when it ends there wont be a way back. I wonder this was what brought that feeling up in me, thinking i was so far of someone today i felt so close.

I dont know who ever figure out for 1rst time that we never really appreciate what we have until we lose it, buy i am sure he didnt have a nice experience figuring it out. At least we already know it and people around us always remember us that, but we never believe it until it happens or until its close really close to us. I never tought her words would mean this much to me, i never tought her smile would make me so happy, and over all i never ever thought that thinking of letting her go, seeing her light turn off little by little would hit me this hard. I guess i'ts not too late, but it is kinda late. We always think we have all the time of the world but the truth is that every second that passes we are loosing it, time is running out of our hands and sometimes we just let it get lost and don’t make every second of our lifes worth it. Life isnt a game to win, isnt a race, isnt a contest, less a lottery. Its like an adventure where you have to collect memories and whoever who keeps the most, amazing and funny ones is who had the better life. I mean amazing as the excitment of the voice the person uses to tell the story, The enthusiasm she puts on each one makes them delightful, its worth it to listen to her, to get attached to her story and travel some years ago to a different époque, when all was different but not less and even in something more exciting.

Even in ancient times they used to consider old people the ones with more wisdom for their experience. And hell yeah its true. They get to give the best advices, warnings or whatever you wanna call it and even if you aren’t the favorite granddaughter a word of approval or congrats from her worth it all, and a whole night up listening to a bunch of their stories in the dark are invaluable. I just wanna be like them whem i get to be old, thing i hope. I wanna be full of stories to tell. Full of advices to give. Full of love to share and smiles to make. Thank you for giving me a family and contributing in one way or another to my raising, I love you all so much. I am gonna miss you some day, I already miss one of you even when I didn’t got too much time to know him, but i will always remember you all, remember how awesome you guys are, and if it doesn’t happen im gonna make sure your grandgrandchilds wanna have met you. Without you guys i wont even be over here writing this. Thanks for all and more.

Love, S.S.S

- To my abues

Sunday, July 19, 2009

No. You'll never know until you are there.

Those little moments are the ones that full our emptyness.
Little but true moments of joy.
A kind of joy you can only get from having a good time with them.
Doesnt matter the place, or the time, or what you are doing.
The fact is that you are with someone you care about.
You are sharing.
You are feeling.
As meaningless as it seems a random conversation can be determinant.
It can change a desition or can just make your day.
A tiny word of approval.
A little hug of congrats.
Mean much more than it seems.
We all need to come back home once in a while.
And i dont mean home as a physical place.
To be home is to be with the people who trully care about you.
People you would give your life for.
People we sometimes forget.
Forget how much they have helped.
How much they have given us when we most needed it.
And we let ourselfs live blinded by our selfishness, by superficial and empty stuff.
But when we realise how much we need to come back everything is alright again.
They receive us with open hearts.
Lent us their hands to stand up.
Forgive we forgot about them.
And believe me it's the best thing you could ever imagine.
But you''ll never know until you are there.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Alli es donde nos equivocamos

En lo mas profundo del castillo.
Resguardado por el dragon mas cobarde de la historia de la fantasia.
Esta ella siempre esperanzada en que llegara el dia de salir.
Mostrarse tal como es.
Pero nadie se atreve a ir por ella.
Aunque sea tan facil llegar hasta alla.
A nadie parece realmente importarle.
Se distraen en otras cosas que simulan ser mas complejas que estas.
Creen que sacarla de alli no es necesario.
Cuando en realidad es todo lo contrario.
Aquella doncella dentro del castillo pequena, callada es mas de lo parece.
Subestimada por muchos que se niegan a aceptar que aun no la han rescatado
Ella solo espera.
Algun dia notaran que su necesidad
Partiran en busqueda
Y probablemente sera mucho mas dificil encontrarla y liberarla.
Pues a veces actuamos como ese cobarde dragon represor con nuestra propia doncella.
Tenemos Miedo a que ella escape y se muestre y nos muestre como somos
Y que eso no sea lo que los demas esperan
Que idiota.
Y a veces actuamos como el dragon cobarde que teme que los demas brillen mas que nosotros y queremos evitar a toda costa que los castillos ajenos dejen en libertad a sus cautivas.
Aun mas idiota.
Luego sera mas dificil
En algunos casos muy tarde
Nos abremos acostumbrado a esperar el dia en el que por fin seremos nosotros mismos
A solo esperar y jamas actuar.
Nos abremos acostumbrado a vivir como no somos.
A realmente no vivir
A mentir.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

This is all i want.

Happiness is kinda hard to describe you just cant tell what it is... you just can tell what makes you happy and what takes out that happiness.

Its awesomely great when you feel something you lost comes back and comes back better than ever. Just like when you find something you considered and already accepted as lost, when you meet with a friend you thought you would never see ever again and discover the frienship is intact, or when you figure out some hability you had is still in you even tough you thought you already lost it.

Those kind of things make you notice how awesome life is and how great happynes is even when we still cant describe it, even when we still lack of a meaning for it. All we now it means A LOT and that it is our reason to keep living. We stand the struggles, the pain, the falls, the confusion, all for some little moments of happiness. And i guess that is what makes them so freaking special, wanted,wished, hoped.

So today i got one of those little pretty wished moments, when clicked a play button and i figured out what i thought was lost wasnt. Those little happy moments as meaningless as they seem make us realise we are alive and that life is a very nice gift we all got. I guess over all there are always a bunch of this to thank of.

Thank you God :D

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Every moment i lived with you is a moment i treasure

Not many time ago, I learnt the hard way that we never have the right to judge someone. That we never know the completely whole story, because we are not the omnipresent narrator of it. It feels awful to be judged wrong and even worst when the part of the story that the person that judge you doesnt know is completely harmful to you.

I was so ironic to realise that maybe i was judging wrong when i was thinking someone was judging me wrong. Some things arent just the way they seem to be. Sometimes people turns out to be worst and sometimes better than we thought. Not everything that shines is gold but same way, not everything dark is dust.

Vicios circle of judgements i will try not to ever repeat, because they hurt, they frustate, but over all they destroy little by little even the better and stronger friendships. This friendship maybe still soaring, but luckily is still there. Maybe after all some friendships CAN last forever, because when you get to really know someone you keep a piece of the person and both will always have that connection no matter what.

There are so many things we CANT just leave behind and forget, so many times, so many images in our minds. We create our own memories, memories that are not easy just to ignore to leave over there. So many things we will always remember. Dreams. Pics. Secrets. Comments. Laughs. Smiles. Notebooks. Fanfics. Trust. Love.

"Look up the stars are fading And I am still here waiting To see you again Be with you my friendWell, the moon is gone forever I hope you're up there somewhere I'll see you againBe with you my friend Cuz all the roads they lead to where you are And all the street lights shine like they were stars "BLG

Thank you so much! It meant so much to me...


Monday, July 6, 2009

They were just a wet dream for the webzines

Incluso esto se siente absurdo. Estar triste porque no conoci en conjunto a un grupo de personas que jamas conoci. Como sentirlo tanto si nisiquiera se de que me estoy perdiendo? Como es que recuerdo con tanta anoranza dias de su compania, como si en realidad hubieran estado alli?

Es una mezcla de un sentimiento de vacio con confusion. Algo que nunca habia sentido antes, tal y como un dia hace 3 anios. Sentir que me falta, que me falta algo que nunca tuve, que he perdido algo que jamas encontre, que de pronto se acabo una historia a la que nunca le pense el final.

Algo patetico que me importen tanto y que ellos ni sepan que existo. Tantas cosas que ahora se descartan y se iran al baul de los suenos que siempre sera suenos y ya ni tienen esa chance en un millon de dejar de serlo. Se rompe una ventana que jamas se pudo abrir y que probablemente era tan solo un cuadro aparentando ser una ventana.

Fueron un tiempo nuevo y creo que eso es lo que mas me afecta. Sentir como se desvanece el tiempo, un tiempo en el que al parecer vivias hace tan solo unas horas. Darse cuenta de lo efimero que es todo, de como nada puede detener el tiempo. De pronto me doy cuenta que talvez no afecta que ellos bifurquen sus senderos sino que con ello culmine una etapa de mi vida y sienta ahi que algo falta.

Voy a definitivamente extranar los momentos que pase escuchando sus voces, sus creaciones y viendo como pintaban un mundo de un color completamente diferente al real, viendo como ellos estaban en mi mismo mundo, en ese mundo que tanto quise estar. Nada sera igual, como absolutamente todo en la vida y eso es lo que menos me gusta, que termine como todo termina.

"The writers weren't kidding about how all good things must end." TAI

"Let go, let go, jump in oh well what you waiting for its alright cause there's beauty in the breakdwon" Frou Frou (is there?)


"The only thing worst than not knowing is you thinking that I don't know"